Doubt And Devotion
by starvingartist98
Summary: Jorah thinks of a simpler time. Daenerys wants reassurance. A bittersweet one shot.


**Devotion**

The city lay sprawled out beneath him. His chambers overlooked the market. The city was returning to its hectic rhythm, with crowds, like flocks of birds moving through the city. Over throwing the masters was the easy part, keeping the peace, was entirely different. Dany was overwhelmed with joy the day that he brought her the news the city was taken. Yet he knew that solidifying her power would take time, and Daenerys was not always patient, she was used to getting things her way. She would learn, he thought to himself, she would grow wiser, with time.

He took a sip of wine, he should be happy for her, yet he was not. He looked over his chambers. The furnishings were lavish, too exquisite for a man like himself. He was told that these chambers belonged to a former slaver. Exquisite silks, leather bound books, and the marble faces of strange gods filled the room. The floors were lined with colorful rugs. It smelled of incense. These men knew how to enjoy the finer things in life he thought to himself, he somehow felt ill at ease in here.

He felt alone. The only person who helped ease that loneliness, was enjoying the company of other men, younger men. Could he blame her? Yet through everything they had been through. He had been with her, when she had nothing, was nothing, he had cared for her even then. He needed to free his mind from these thoughts. He put on his cloak and made his way down the winding staircases as he walked out onto the street. He had dressed like the common folk, so as not to bring attention to himself.

He walked up the crowded streets, taking in the noises, the smells. A purse filled with silver coins jingled at his side. The air was warm, and humid, but he could feel a slight breeze making its way from the sea. He stopped at one the stalls in the market. The seller noticed him and waved him over.

"The finest jewels in the east" he told him. Jorah smiled to himself, that's what they all said. He picked up a necklace with a ruby, he turned it over in his hands watching the light play with it.

"A gift for your lady, good sir", the seller said, a bearded man with hair as dark as the night.

"I am not a married man, it would be a lovely gift if I were." Jorah gave a weak smile to the merchant. The words echoed in his head, "If I were".

The merchant raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"Are you visiting the city, sir, a merchant as well perhaps," the man asked, looking at the bulging purse of coins hanging at jorah's side.

"Just a traveler passing through on my way to Pentos" jorah handed the necklace back to him.

The merchant picked up another necklace this time, a simple golden one, with three small pendants in the shape of dragons hanging from it, glittering in the sunlight.

"I have sold a substantial amount of these," the merchant said.

"Even the common folk spend their hard earned coins on these, to honor the new queen, they call her the mother of dragons, and they say she is as beautiful and mysterious as the east. The people love her." the merchant said as he handled the necklace as if it were a treasure.

"Is she really as beautiful as they say, this new queen" jorah asked as he carefully studied the man's face.

"She is, I saw her once as she was making her way through the city, she was heavily guarded by the unsullied, but I caught a glimpse of her, a fine woman she is, unmarried though I hear, shame that such beauty should go unloved." As he was speaking jorah could see that the man meant every word, it was as if he was describing a dream.

Jorah smiled to himself, "well perhaps I should buy one these if she is as lovely as you say, how much?" jorah asked.

"Four silvers," the merchant said.

Jorah counted out the coins, and handed them to the merchant.

"Sir you have given me five silvers," the merchant looked at him in a puzzled way.

"The other one is for the story" Jorah said as he took placed the necklace in his pocket, and started to walk off.

"Thank you good sir," the merchant called out after him. "Perhaps you too will one day get to see the queen, and you will know I spoke the truth.

"Perhaps" jorah called back to the merchant.

He could not help but fell a dragging sense of bitterness. He had proved himself to her time and time again. Yet she could not see that. The merchant was right, why should such beauty go unloved.

As he walked through the city, lost in thought, he was stopped by a woman with almond shaped eyes, her hair cascading in curls to her shoulders.

"How about a little company tonight, handsome stranger" she said with a giggle. For a moment jorah was tempted, to feel the warmth of a woman's body in his arms, perhaps it would help him overcome his feelings for the kahleesi.

"Perhaps, another night," he said with a quick smile to the beautiful stranger.

Lost deep in his own thoughts he had not noticed that the sun had set, and night was starting to cover the city like a fog.

As he was making his way back to his chambers, he stopped on the crest of a hill, and looked out over the sea, shrouded in darkness. The calm waters embraced the reflection of the moon. He breathed a heavy sigh, remembering bear island, and how there too the moon reflected on the icy waters. Same moon he thought to himself, but I am a different man than I was there.

Back in his chambers he sat on the bed, and took out the necklace. He ran his fingers over the cold metal. It was beautiful.

An entire city full of new people, new sites, could not take his mind off of her. He poured himself a glass of wine. He sat there, looking at the sea in the distance. Perhaps he should just leave, it was as simple as finding a ship, and starting over. He even wondered if she would notice. She only talked to him on official business lately. Asking for his advice on various matters. Her eyes would dart away when he looked at her. She avoided any kind of closeness with him, yet she would not completely push him away. But, Why? He played their meetings over and over in his mind. Did she feel nothing for him? Was this love just a dream that he had created for himself, and was then foolish enough to believe in it? Perhaps she had never really felt any kind of love for him?

It pained him, yet he could not just leave, and start over somewhere else. He swore her an oath, what else did he have left, if not loyalty to her, and to her cause.

It had been a long day and he closed his eyes, hoping to escape into a dreamless sleep. He lay there eyes closed unable to sleep.

There were two knocks on the door. He slowly got up, threw on his cloak, and made his way to the door. He opened the door just a little to see who it was.

Missandei smiled when she saw him, "The queen has asked for you, Ser Jorah."

Jorah was surprised to be summoned at such a time of day, but he could not refuse. He went back in the room, took another sip of wine, and put on the golden necklace he had bought.

He walked by the handmaids side. She was a smart, and talented girl. Her faithfulness to the queen was unwavering, much like his. He thought of how much they had in common. Both united in their service to their queen. The flames from the torches were casting shadows on the stones as they made their way down the halls of the palace.

He had assumed that they would meet in the great hall, where he and Daenerys had usually talked.

Missandei noticed his surprise, and said "the queen has requested to speak with you in her own chambers."

And how many times has she requested Daario Naharis to join her in her chambers, jorah thought to himself, with a feeling of disgust for the sell sword.

All he said was "as my queen wishes".

Missandei knocked a few times on the door, a servant opened the door, and Messandei said something to her in Valyrian. Jorah glanced at Missandei's face and his eyes lingered a little too long on her gentle features. She smiled as she turned to walk away, a smile that struck him as welcoming. He pushed the thought from his head.

He entered the room, to find Deanery's standing by the window. The light blue silk dress cascading down her body, like a waterfall. He closed the door behind him. And approached her slowly.

"I summoned you earlier, but I was told you were out in the city," she said not turning to look at him.

"My apologies Khaleesi, if I would have known," Jorah said, wondering where this conversation was going.

"It is quite alright, Jorah, I have one favor to ask of you this night," she said as she raised a cup of wine to her lips, and looked at him with a curious expression of longing.

This caught him of guard "I am at your service, Daenerys" he said while trying to figure out what she was getting at.

"How long have we known each other Jorah" she said stepping closer.

"I have served you from the beginning, and will serve you till my last day, Daenerys" he said not taking his eyes off hers.

Daenerys poured a cup of wine and handed it to him, "don't seem so alarmed, Jorah, come take a seat," she pointed to the two chairs that stood by the table that looked out over the city, and the bay.

"I believe I have had enough wine for today kahleesi," he said as he took a seat and placed the cup on the table.

"You would disobey your queen" Daenerys took the cup and placed it back in his hand, her tone somewhat playful, somewhat commanding.

"Never" Jorah said as he watched her every move. There was no denying that Daenerys was a beautiful woman, he smiled as he remembered the merchants words. He sensed loneliness in her eyes. What favor did she speak of?

"Good, "she said with a playful smile, taking a seat next to him.

"Your grace, what favor is it you seek from me," he said with a glance over at her, trying to gauge her next move.

"I want you to reassure me." She said with a quiver in her voice.

He had not seen her like this since the day of her wedding to Khal Drogo. A girl, afraid and alone. Not even armies or lovers can give you peace, he thought to himself.

"Of what, Khaleesi," he asked

They sat there in a momentary silence, the faint sounds of the streets below made its way through the windows.

"that you of all people will stay by my side, I was so afraid today, earlier when I summoned you and you were not there, I had thought you left, things between us have been somewhat."

He cut her off, "where would I go if I left, Daenerys, your worries are unfounded my queen," he said staring out at the bay.

Jorah felt a pang of guilt, remembering his thoughts earlier today, of leaving and starting over.

"Even if you banish me my queen, I will still come back, serving you was the only thing I ever wanted since meeting you," he said.

Yet they both sensed that there was so much more than that.

"My bear, how could I ever banish you, it would hurt me as much as it would you" she said in a sorrowful, yet playful tone.

He wanted to believe those words, with all his heart he wanted to believe them. He had believed in her had he not? In her cause. Now she wanted him to believe in her words.

He got up and walked over to the window. Staring in silence at the waters. He felt the chill of the breeze, coming in through the window. He fingers ran over the golden necklace that hung from his neck. Remembering the merchant's words. This way he would always have a part of her with him.

"Does something trouble my knight," she said getting up and walking over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Only memories my queen, of a simpler time," he said glancing at her.

She could feel the weight of those words. His devotion to her as a queen was absolute. But he was more than a knight, and she was more than a queen. They both knew that. Perhaps it was he who needed reassurance.

"Stay with me this night, and perhaps we can return to a simpler time, my bear" she said taking her hand in his, and placing it on her beating heart.


End file.
